Depression

I began to experience major clinical depression in December, 1995. The depression lasted until November, 1996, when I started using Prozac.

One of the worst parts of the depression was how it affected my job, as these posts describe:

• Crushing despair
• Fear stalks the wounded mind
• Closing eyes
• Life is hell

A big part of the depression was self-loathing:

• Why I hate myself

I often turned to writing as relief during the very worst depression attacks:

• Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired
• Anatomy of a Binge
• Eight days abstinent and it is hell
• The knife twisting inside

A very frightening time during the depression came when I was suicidal, and turned myself into the hospital to avoid dying. I wrote a lot about the first such experience:

• Into the Lion's Den
• Still alive
• Through a Glass, Darkly

Nor is it entirely gone even now. I still get relapses:

• April
• Social-phobic Depression
• Bitterness

And yet, on occasion, there are breakthroughs and moments of happiness:

• More Joy in Heaven

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